Why aren’t we taught this stuff?

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After just the first week of HouseHeal into Practice I received this note from a participantI am noticing some real changes with respect to awareness. I see time passing more slowly somehow (able to fit more in than I used to, or thought I could), my thoughts about myself and others are more positive, find myself smiling for no particular reason, and changing some habits to keep things more tidy around me.” And that was just Week One! I love the “smiling for no particular reason”, don’t you? It affirms the fact that a more beautiful, love-filled home begins within you.

I have different emotions during my in-person HouseHeal classes. One is a feeling of profound love and respect and excitement for the people engaged in the course (like the person above!). Their passion, wanting and commitment inspires me. What opens up for people over the 4 weeks of the course demonstrates beyond a doubt the power of HouseHeal to transform lives (and homes!).

On another level, I find myself still in disbelief that what I am teaching is not common knowledge in our world. HouseHeal is still relatively new, but the laws on which it is based are universal (i.e. they apply to every person on the planet!) and have been known since the beginning of time. What HouseHeal does, essentially, is teach you how to use your natural internal operating system to bring more joy, love, beauty and ease and into your life, beginning at home.  In terms of importance, the basic skill is pretty much next in line to breathing, yet so few people know it’s even in them to use. It happens every time I teach a course, that as people begin to understand the deeper implications of what they are actually learning, I hear the question “why weren’t we taught this before?”

I don’t have the answer to that question, but I do feel deeply grateful to be sharing HouseHeal at this time, helping people to transform their lives simply by teaching them how to use the amazing natural powers that have been within them all along (what some people call, among other things, The Law of Attraction). Home just happens to be the perfect starting point to practice using those powers.

If you are ready for change, if you truly want an easier, more beautiful life – a life that includes, among other things, a more beautiful love-filled home, here is what’s coming up on the HouseHeal calendar to help you – mark the dates now!

Free Teleseminar – Wednesday, February 26 at 7 p.m. This call is the first of 2014 and will focus on helping you to know what you (truly, deeply) want at home – and get it with ease.  If you already are on my HouseHeal e-mail list you will get the details on how to join in the call in advance. Tell your friends! There is no cost to join in the call – just show up with curiosity and enthusiasm – and your questions!

HouseHeal into Practice (In-Person – Toronto) The next in-person course will be starting Saturday mornings starting May 31st  (4 weeks) and with a second course Tuesday evenings starting June 3rd (4 weeks).  This class is for people who are truly ready for change at home. Register now – details are here. There are only 7 spots in each class (really!) so claim your spot now!

HouseHeal into Practice (telecourse) – Fall 2014 – If you do not live within easy driving distance of Toronto for the in-person classes, watch for details about a new telecourse coming up, still live and interactive, just “virtual”.  Still a great way to go deeper with this work!

And of course, always available to you is my book HouseHeal: Transform Your Life through the Power of Home. If you do not yet have a copy, order it here. The teaching goes deeper each time you read it – you will see!

 If something inside you is telling you it’s time for a change, it probably is!

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Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.

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Set your intention right now to have a magical Christmas season.

  1.  Let go of financial worries.  Christmas is not about money or gifts. Really it’s not. If money is tight this year, make a conscious effort to catch yourself if you go into vibration of “I don’t have any money” with your thoughts. Change your thoughts to the vibration of “I have money for everything that truly matters.” And feel the difference. If you have children, focus on a magical Christmas season      for them. Set clear intentions, practice a deep-down knowing that all is well, do your best every day and watch what happens. If your finances are good this year, take extra care to spend money with thoughtfulness,  gratitude, love and clear intention to bring the most joy possible to you and others.  

“All my needs are looked after with ease. I feel the Joy of Christmas within me.” 

  1. Let go of feeling like you don’t enough time. Think about it – you have all the time in the world, the same as everyone else – 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you feel stressed, stop and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you have all  the time you need. Have a look to see what you might be doing out of a      sense of obligation, rather than desire. What on your “to do” list is optional?      Be honest. Where can you get help? What could you get done if you just      stopped worrying about it and did it? Where are your thoughts, beliefs & habits contributing to you feeling under pressure? Pay attention, choose wisely and watch time issues dissolve.

“I have time for everything that is important to me.”

  1. Let  go of emotional drama. Dramas can occur more easily around the holidays, especially with family.  If tensions and emotions flare up in your home, don’t engage. Easy, right? Ha! Maybe not – but you can do it if you really make an effort.  Whether with parents, in-laws, ex-spouses, brothers and sisters, aunts or uncles –whoever pushes your buttons, let it go. Christmas is a season of Joy, yes, but it can be stressful when people are on automatic. Decide to be      genuinely joyful and see other people with compassion. The more you can disengage from old emotional patterns and be a genuine beacon of joy and peace for  others, the bigger the difference you will make at home and in the world.

“I choose peace in all situations. I see others with love and compassion.”

  1. Let go of stuff. Despite the season being strongly associated with shopping, there’s nothing like finding unused gifts from Christmas past in your closet to      give you perspective on stuff. Take advantage. Dedicate even 15 minutes a day between now and Christmas to clearing things you don’t use or need out of your closets and cupboards and give them to charity. Play your favourite Christmas music while you do it – and feel lighter for it!

“I release all that no longer serves me. I make room for good things to come.”

  1. Let go of how things need to be. Christmas traditions warm the heart – like when you get your tree, when you open presents, having family skating outings, making old family recipes, watching your favourite movies (ours is Christmas Vacation!), but, like everything, they can change with time. Notice what you do at Christmas because it genuinely brings you joy, and what you do from habit.      If something doesn’t really work for you any more, think about what you might      do differently. Is it time to re-think your Christmas Eve menu? Cull your      decorations and change how you decorate your tree? Try a new cookie recipe? Get new lights for outside? A new stocking? A new mug for your hot chocolate? Is it time for some new music? Perhaps it would be fun to invite different people to join you through the holidays – maybe even mix friends with family? Plan a pyjama day or two? Reflect on your traditions, keep what you like, and have fun making any changes that feel right.

“I love and honour traditions – and accept when it’s time for a change.”

  1.  Let go of tolerating mess and dirt. Okay, maybe not a festive topic but it’s important. Mess and dirt make your home feel heavy and “stuck″ and make it difficult to be of good cheer, even at Christmas. Even if it’s not high on your list of things to do, deep clean and tidy as much as you can, even when you are busy. It can be Joyful, really! – a minute, five minutes, twenty minutes whenever you      possibly can. Twenty extra minutes a day from now until Christmas can work      wonders. If you live with other people and can get them to help, great, but don’t make it a big deal. This is not the time for confrontation. Send love, and hope they follow your lead. Hire cleaners for a day if you can. Here are a few suggestions to help you:
    • Go though your kitchen cupboards & drawers and toss out stale-dated spices, chipped dishes, rusted utensils – it takes only a few minutes once you start. Give away the bundt pan you haven’t used in 15 years. Practice saying, I invite freshness into my life. I release all that is out-dated and broken.”
    • Empty your dishwasher as soon as it is clean and load dirty dishes immediately. If you don’t have a dishwasher, make it a habit to always wash and put dishes away right after use.
    • Take 15 minutes to organize your refrigerator and make sure everything there is fresh and clean.
    • Clear your kitchen counters of everything but your toaster, a bowl of fruit, a coffee-maker or kettle, and some oils and spices by the stove. Notice how good it feels as space opens up. It will still get messed up every day, but make a joyful effort to have counters clear and pristine just once a day, and notice how good it feels.

“I surround myself with order and beauty.”

7. Let go of DIY – ask for help! Remember you can ask both humans and Angels for help! Ask your Angels for inspiration on gift ideas! Set clear intention…Angels please guide me to the perfect gift within my budget. If you are wondering how to get everything done at home, ask for help. Your Angels can only help you if you ask! Ask to be inspired, guided and helped – and feel all through your body a deep knowing that you are supported and guided in every minute! Feel the magic of Christmas flow through you…and listen for your guidance. It doesn’t even matter if you believe in Angels – they will help you anyway!

“I am open to help and inspiration. I feel the love and support of my Angels.

Let all you do this Season flow from a place of joy in your heart. Understand that you are connected to Universal Unconditional Love not dependent on you being naughty or nice!  Feel how that Unconditional Love is especially powerful at this time of year. If you can feel truly grateful for all that you have, know that all good things come to you when you align your energy to them, and be kind to yourself and those around you, that’s really all you need to do – all good action flows from there.

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Peace in the world begins at home.

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Peaceful_Home

Years ago I heard social visionary Barbara Marx Hubbard give a conference keynote address that has stayed with me every day since. She explained how those of us living now have a greater responsibility for the world than any previous generation, because for the first time in history we are creating with the awareness that we are creating. She said we can no longer hide behind “not knowing” why things are happening in the world, pretending that we don’t see our power to make different choices, both individually and collectively. As much as I agree with what she said, yesterday, as I heard the heartfelt tributes to our war veterans, knowing that horrific wars are still going on in the world, I had to acknowledge a major challenge in her premise. It’s like we have learned nothing.

With awareness comes responsibility, yes, but the problem is that people are still shockingly unaware of their own influence in life – even the people with shelves filled with “spiritual” books, even people who appear to be doing pretty well. We have an epidemic of people going through the motions of life feeling slightly out of control, feeling not good enough, feeling scared, sad, angry, worried, stressed about time, money, relationships, work and all kinds of other stuff, trying to do their best, oblivious to their own power to create whatever they want in life. Seriously – with people walking around with mini-wars going on inside of themselves is it any wonder we still have bigger wars going on in the world?

images

Nowhere is lack of awareness of personal power more visible than in people’s homes. Trust me – I see it all the time. People are living in various levels chaos (visible and not), in the very place where they have the most control in the world, without knowing how to change it. That’s why I love my HouseHeal teaching. HouseHeal teaches people healthy awareness every day at home – an awareness that not only stays, but continues to grow and brings incredible change with relative ease. I always warn people at the beginning of class – don’t be here if you are not prepared to take on responsibility for your life, because once you know what I am about to show you, there is no turning back. You will no longer be able to pretend that you don’t know the power you have.

Barbara Marx Hubbard is right – with awareness comes responsibility, but we need a lot more people with awareness. When more people truly understand their power to create for themselves we will see more change in the world. I know deep in my heart that if each of us can simply create a home filled with love, kindness, peace and beauty, it will have a huge impact on the world. Peace in the world begins at home.

If you want more peace, kindness, love and beauty in your home I invite you to experience my new in-person course HouseHeal into Practice starting in Toronto in January.

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Making change at home easier

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tidyhouseYou can’t force change at home – even when you try really hard. If you think dealing with “stuff” at home feels hard, stop and take a deep breath. There is something in you that still needs to be shifted, released or healed before anything much can change around you. You and your home are energetically connected. How many times have you had great intentions about getting things done at home (maybe organizing your desk, cleaning your closet or clearing your dining room table of papers) and gotten stuck within fifteen minutes of starting. That’s because you have not yet made the inner shift (thoughts, beliefs, emotions) to match the change you want to make.

When you are ready for change, it comes relatively easily. You spring into action, you release thoughts of not having enough time, money or help. You know what to do and you do it. Things like time, money and help begin to appear bit by bit, until they flow to you easily. Until that time, be gentle with yourself.

Here is a little something to help you get started:

  • Always begin by noticing your thoughts – and consciously taking them to feeling good, even if only for a few minutes. Remind yourself that change is easier when you take it one step at a time. Allow yourself to feel hope and relief – and even      anticipation.
  • Pick one specific area of your home that is normally “scruffy” and tidy it up. Choose something gratifying but not overwhelming (say as little as 5 minutes but no more than 20-30 minutes to make it clean and tidy initially) but a place that is noticeable in the course of your day – maybe your bedside table, your dresser, your coffee table, a section of your kitchen counter, your kitchen sink area, your bathroom counter or your front hall. Once you have that area clean and tidy, make a point, every day for at least a week, of keeping that one place clean and tidy all the time until you notice that it feels natural to have it that way.
  • Then notice how quickly it feels irritating if that place starts to get scruffy again – and congratulate yourself! You have just made a shift that will stay with you.
  • Get excited – pick another area and repeat the process. And so on. Train yourself to notice when clean and tidy (and eventually beautiful) feel better.

When it comes to real, lasting change, easy does it – one step at a time.

Be sure to check out my new course starting January 2014 in Toronto!

 

 

 

 

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How you bombard yourself with negativity every day – and how to stop.

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Positive_Thinking_ImageI read last night that the average person has about 3 million negative thoughts a month. Three million! I don’t know how that research was done, but even if you allow for a wide margin of error, that’s a lot of negativity! No wonder people are feeling stressed, overwhelmed and inadequate! Imagine the inner torment that comes with all that negative thinking – probably without even noticing that you are the source!

Just for fun, test yourself. As you go through even your first hour of the day at home, see if you recognize anything resembling your thoughts here:

  • In front of the bathroom mirror:  I look awful. I look old. I’m fat – how did I let that happen? I’m so flabby. What’s the matter with my hair? My skin looks awful. I’m a mess.
  • In front of your closet: I have nothing to wear. I need to lose weight so I can fit into this stuff again. Why did I buy that – I don’t even like it. I hate not having money for new clothes. I need to get this organized.  These hangers suck. There space is too small. Why is nothing clean?
  • Walking into the kitchen: What a mess. There is nothing to eat. I shouldn’t eat this – I’m too fat already. I don’t feel like cooking anything. Why didn’t I clean this up last night? Why didn’t I pick up groceries? This floor is disgusting. I would love to rip this whole thing out but we don’t have the money.

Anything sound familiar? And that’s without even getting to the thoughts about work, the news, finding your keys, time and so on and so on. And that’s before you even get out the door! Empowering, huh?

Maybe your thought patterns are easily identifiable, or maybe they are subtle, but, unless you have already done deep, deep inner healing to change them, the negative thoughts are with you, all the time, whether you acknowledge them or not.  And they are soul-sucking.

So how do you stop?

My advice is to begin to notice your thoughts at home, where you have lots of safe places to practise. In my book, HouseHeal: Transform Your Life through the Power of Home I explain in detail a gentle and powerful process of changing your negative thoughts with lots of examples, but basically you start by, just a few times a day, noticing your negative thoughts (like the examples above), and then replacing them with thoughts that feel better…. kinder, gentler thoughts about yourself…a little bit at a time. And then you just keep doing that….every day….for the rest of your life!

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Glorifying the past at the expense of the future?

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let-goPeople talk about the importance of letting go of stuff at home but few understand why it’s important to your future. It’s all about energy – and it’s really helpful to understand how it works. You can learn a lot about what you believe about your life by looking around your home and seeing what’s there.  For example:  if you are hanging on to inherited stuff that you don’t actually like, it sends out the energetic message of “I am obligated carry the past with me” or “I have no choice” or “if I keep this I am a good girl (or boy)”.  Do you really want to live in that kind of energy? Think about it! Life is yours to create – including choosing what is in your personal space!

In my book HouseHeal: Transform Your Life through the Power of Home I tell the story of inheriting my grandmother’s bedroom suite when I was in my early twenties. For ten years, I moved that bedroom furniture with me, to three different cities.  Twice I put it into paid storage at great expense. When I moved in with my husband, he told me he didn’t like the bedroom set and didn’t want to keep it. Before I could even argue with him, I suddenly realized that I didn’t like the furniture either, and never had. It was good quality and in good condition but ornate and old-fashioned, and it had only a double mattress. I hadn’t stopped to consider whether I liked it or not. It was my grandmother’s, so I kept it. Once I had perspective, I put the bedroom set up for auction, got a good price for it, and said, “Thank you, Grandma.”  And my husband and I got a new queen-size bed!

Can you relate to that story? Keeping things by default or out of a sense of obligation weighs down the energy in your home. Look around you and be lovingly honest with yourself. As you are able to recognize things that you are keeping by default or out of a sense of obligation to someone else (dead or alive!), give yourself permission to let it go. Get excited, be grateful for your new awareness – and feel yourself moving forward in life with ease!

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A prerequisite to happiness.

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happinessA clean, tidy home in good repair is not a guarantee of happiness, but it is a pre-requisite. Think about it. You can find unhappy people in beautiful homes without looking very far, but rarely will you find a truly happy person in a messy, dirty, cluttered home. Everything is energy – and mess, dirt and clutter are not an energetic match to self-kindness and happiness. Mess, dirt and clutter wear you down whether you notice (or even care) or not.

If you are like most people, you are probably relatively unaware of the degree of change that would benefit you at home, even if you think you know what needs to be done. Unless you are uniquely and acutely conscious of energy and your surroundings, I guarantee that the level of mess, dirt, clutter, or “stuckness” in your home doesn’t register fully in your awareness. And that’s a good thing, so you don’t feel overwhelmed. You need to feel hopeful, even excited, to make changes at home, so it’s best to take things one step at a time.

Once you take the first step, even if it’s just cleaning out one drawer or putting in a brighter light bulb, you will feel the difference for yourself and understand what I am talking about. You will start to feel energized and want to keep going.  It’s a wonderful feeling to notice the feel of your home shifting. You feel lighter, freer – and happier. Not only does your home feel and look better, but the process helps you to see how much influence you have on your own life experience (lots!). Things that you thought were beyond your ability or resources suddenly feel do-able.

I am not talking about having a “showcase” home or even about material wealth – your home can be very simple, even temporary. What I am talking about is creating a home environment, whatever it is, that actively supports you in living a life that you love, with ease. It’s all about life feeling right and good – and feeling good about you.

I speak from experience. After years of deep inner work and personal challenges, it seems almost magically, I have a happy, comfortable and (depending on the day!) relatively clean and organized home for which I am deeply and actively grateful each and every day. Even so,  I have discovered it takes very little to throw things off balance. That’s why I take action at home every single day – not because I am obsessive (I am so not) – but because I have trained myself to notice what things feel like if I don’t. I can no longer tolerate mess in my home – it feels awful to me. Cleaning, tidying, organizing, and improving aesthetic details at home have become as natural and necessary for me as breathing. And I am much happier for it.

If you feel that true happiness is eluding you, take a deep breath, smile, put your shoulders back, and clean out a closet. Shred some memorabilia. Throw out some dishes that are cracked or chipped. Open your curtains. Wash your windows. Do your laundry. Carry some things you no longer want to the curb. Make your bed. Re-organize your pantry. Pick stuff up off the floors. Chuck old financial files you no longer need to keep. Clean behind your stove. And notice how it feels.

I will bet that if you do a little bit every day, with faith, hope and gratitude in your heart, before long your life will start to feel lighter and brighter!

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Your bathroom matters. A lot.

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bathroomEven in beautiful homes, I see bathrooms in need of TLC…and a bathroom in need of TLC means you are in need too! Use your bathroom to tell the Universe “I am ready to take care of myself on whole new level” and create a nurturing space for yourself.  Here are some simple tips and reminders to help you create a spa feeling in your bathroom – no matter your time or budget:

  1. Choose bathroom products with care. What you put on your skin goes into your bloodstream. Send the message “I care for and nurture my beautiful body” and choose just a few natural good quality soaps, shampoos and body cream for your personal care.
  2. Clear your drawers and cupboards of old hair brushes, stretched elastics, lotions, potions, pills, bottles and tubes that are past the best before date, dried up, empty or that simply will never be used. Send out the message “I keep only what supports me in being healthy, happy and beautiful.”
  3. Keep toothbrushes out of view. Toothbrushes on display are not only yucky to look at, but exposed toothbrushes invite bathroom germs on them, especially airborne germs when the toilet is flushed. Find a clean dry place to store toothbrushes. Now.
  4. Use your bath towels to say “I am worthy of comfort and beauty”. If your towels are anything but lovely, treat yourself to new ones. If you are on budget, even one beautiful new towel is enough to help you appreciate the difference and raise your vibration.
  5. If you have a dollar store level plastic toilet brush, throw it out. Splurge on a nice toilet brush, maybe in brushed metal and that keeps the brush part out of view.  Beauty in every detail!
  6. Use only high-end (pardon the pun) toilet paper (aka bathroom tissue). Just do. Notice what brand you like (I like Royale) and stock up when it goes on sale. Life is just too short.
  7. Reflect beauty with a beautiful mirror. If you have a basic mirror clipped to the wall above the sink, look for a good quality framed mirror as big as will reasonably fit to replace it. A good mirror adds a touch of elegance.
  8. Enhance beauty with good lighting. Check that light bulbs match, work and are the highest wattage allowed, full spectrum “daylight” bulbs. Forget “eco” bulbs and their ghastly yellow light – just turn the lights off as much as possible. Add a dimmer switch – great for bath time or late night loo visits!
  9. Keep waste out of view. If you can’t tuck your waste-basket away inside a vanity, find a nice-looking container with some sort of swinging top for discretion. Garbage is never beautiful to look at (well maybe when being taken away!).
  10. Clean to pristine. Details, details, details – baseboards, cupboards, windows, corners. Use an old toothbrush to clean around taps. Wash the grunge off your shower curtain. Your bathroom is a reflection of how well you take care of yourself, so take great care.

This list is just for inspiration. There’s lots more – I didn’t even get to candles and music! Begin bit by bit, detail by detail, without letting yourself feel discouraged or overwhelmed. Big changes start with little changes, and your bathroom is a great place to start.

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It’s easier to do it all the time.

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Getting your house in order – or even keeping in it order – is endless. I have just accepted it. Every day I spend time tidying, putting things away, throwing things out, wiping counters and a whole bunch of other things, because if I don’t, things get scruffy in a shockingly short time. I do it all the time, mostly without even thinking about it. I like it. Or at least I like the result.

It’s not about being obsessive. If you saw our house you would see that it is well lived in. It’s just that have found that things just don’t feel good when they are messy – and I like things at home to feel good.  Anyone who thinks that messy feels okay to live in for any length of time is kidding themselves, or is shut down in some way. If you are aware of your surroundings and have a reasonable desire to be happy, you will notice that messy does not feel good. Period. Clean and tidy feels good.

When I work with clients getting houses ready to sell, which I still do in my husband’s real estate business, my secret hope, beyond helping people to get a great price for their house, is that people will notice enough of a difference in how things look and feel in their place when it’s all done that they will take some of that experience with them to their new home. Before and after pictures cannot possibly capture the difference in a home that is clean and tidy – everything just feels different.

The trick is to keep up every day so that organizing your home never feels like a big job. And I mean every single day. The funny thing is, if I were to set aside a few hours to clean and tidy, I wouldn’t last half an hour.  I have no attention span for such things. But one, three, and occasionally ten minutes at a time, I am a dynamo. And 15-20 times a day that adds up! Try it out – you might even like it!

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Letting go of pressure and obligation.

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pressure-at-workMore and more I have been catching moments of feeling free of pressure or obligation to accomplish something in my life – and being able to just be. I don’t mean opting out of life (on the contrary!), just living life with a deeper sense of trust and ease.

How about you? Have you ever wondered what you have accepted as “expected” or “normal” in life that is, in truth, not necessary—or normal?  Where do you put pressure on yourself to achieve or measure up in some way? Home is a great place to see where you put pressure on yourself – and lighten up.

Think about it. Have you accepted that it’s normal to feel stressed, full of self-doubt, worry, fear, anger and overwhelm? It may be common to feel that way, but it certainly isn’t “normal”.  Not unless you have been allowing it to be – in which case you might want to find yourself a new normal.

I believe that “normal” is living each day with a sense of peace and ease, with curiosity and kindness, knowing deep inside you that everything is all right. I believe that normal is feeling unconditional love inside you, knowing that you are safe, “good enough” and perfect as you are.  I absolutely believe that life is meant to feel good, beginning (and especially!) at home. Try that belief on for a while and notice the difference in how you feel. I may not always experience life that way, not yet, not all the time, but it’s happening more and more. And it is reflected in my home, both physically and energetically.

I think one of the reasons that people live in stress and “stuckness” at home is that they simply don’t know any better. They really believe that the way things are is “reality” and that there is no choice but to keep doing what they are doing and thinking what they are thinking. Acknowledging that you are the creator of your own life experience can feel scary, but for me not nearly as scary as believing that I am not the creator of my own life!

I made a decision to become happy a long time ago.  I knew nothing then of energy and healing and the power of thought, but I felt relieved just making the decision.  I hit my share of bumps along the way to happy, but I made it. It started with me choosing, and gets deeper as I let go of needing to accomplish something in life – and just do my best each moment. Ironically, if I had had my own book to read way back when I started, I could have gotten happy sooooo much faster! :)

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